Xubuntu Strategy Document review

[Luca Manlio De Lisi]

Hi Pasi!

I've found into the target page and paragraph, at the end of second
section, instead of "but due to the ease of use it is a good option for
these users too" I think that could be better to write something like
"according to this ease of use, it's a good alternative for those users".
Always in that page, at focus introduction paragraph I've got the feeling
that we've forgot some commas, I think it should be "he specifications in
the strategy document should not be confused with release specific goals
and priorities, but instead recognized as the principles which the release
specific goals are based on". In the Community page, at "Becoming and
staying a member" paragraph, I think there's a verbal mistake (I've to
admit that I've some doubts if I've understood the page): "To be accepted
to this team, *one must demonstrate their* motivation and ability to
contribute to Xubuntu", singular person with plural verb? I'm wrong or it
better be "one must demonstrate his/hers motivation"? In the same
paragraph, I believe that "However, if the break is to last longer than a
cycle, or the contributor is unsure if they will contribute at all in the
future, it is encouraged to leave the team and reapply at a later time"
could sound better as "However, if the break lasts longer than a cycle, or
the contributor is unsure if he/her will contribute anymore, etc etc".

At the moment, that's where I can check due to other things I've to do!
You'll receive a mail if I've some other purposes or maybe not!

Cheers,
Luca.

2012/6/19 Pasi Lallinaho <pasi at shimmerproject.org>

> Hello,
>
> I've been reviewing and -writing the new Strategy Document for a good
> time, as well as asking for feedback from a few people. Now it's time to
> go even more public.
>
> First things first, the new Strategy Document is viewable at
> http://strategydoc.knome.fi/
>
> The document is split into sections, with every section having its own
> page. On the pages, you have three things:
>  * Most prominent changes
>  * The new text, and
>  * The old text
>
> There is probably work to do still, and definitely discussions to be
> had. So please, send any feedback to this list as soon as you get to
> read the new document.
>
> If it's grammatical/clarity issues only, sending to just me is fine.
>
> The Strategy Document reviewing will be discussed in the future
> community meetings, look out for agenda items for the subject.
>
> Let's make the document even better together.
>
> Cheers,
> Pasi
>
> --
> Pasi Lallinaho (knome)                      » http://open.knome.fi/
> Leader of Shimmer Project and Xubuntu       » http://shimmerproject.org/
> Graphic artist, webdesigner, Ubuntu member  » http://xubuntu.org/
>
>
> --
> xubuntu-devel mailing list
> xubuntu-devel at lists.ubuntu.com
> https://lists.ubuntu.com/mailman/listinfo/xubuntu-devel
>
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