Hi Pasi!<br><br>I've found into the target page and paragraph, at the end of second section, instead of "but due to the ease of use it is a good option for these users too" I think that could be better to write something like "according to this ease of use, it's a good alternative for those users". Always in that page, at focus introduction paragraph I've got the feeling that we've forgot some commas, I think it should be "he specifications in the strategy document should not be confused with
release specific goals and priorities, but instead recognized as the
principles which the release specific goals are based on". In the Community page, at "Becoming and staying a member" paragraph, I think there's a verbal mistake (I've to admit that I've some doubts if I've understood the page): "To be accepted to this team, <b>one must demonstrate their</b> motivation and ability to contribute to Xubuntu", singular person with plural verb? I'm wrong or it better be "one must demonstrate his/hers motivation"? In the same paragraph, I believe that "However, if the break is to last longer than a cycle, or the contributor
is unsure if they will contribute at all in the future, it is
encouraged to leave the team and reapply at a later time" could sound better as "However, if the break lasts longer than a cycle, or the contributor is unsure if he/her will contribute anymore, etc etc".<br>
<br>At the moment, that's where I can check due to other things I've to do! You'll receive a mail if I've some other purposes or maybe not!<br><br>Cheers,<br>Luca.<br><br><div class="gmail_quote">2012/6/19 Pasi Lallinaho <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:pasi@shimmerproject.org" target="_blank">pasi@shimmerproject.org</a>></span><br>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">Hello,<br>
<br>
I've been reviewing and -writing the new Strategy Document for a good<br>
time, as well as asking for feedback from a few people. Now it's time to<br>
go even more public.<br>
<br>
First things first, the new Strategy Document is viewable at<br>
<a href="http://strategydoc.knome.fi/" target="_blank">http://strategydoc.knome.fi/</a><br>
<br>
The document is split into sections, with every section having its own<br>
page. On the pages, you have three things:<br>
* Most prominent changes<br>
* The new text, and<br>
* The old text<br>
<br>
There is probably work to do still, and definitely discussions to be<br>
had. So please, send any feedback to this list as soon as you get to<br>
read the new document.<br>
<br>
If it's grammatical/clarity issues only, sending to just me is fine.<br>
<br>
The Strategy Document reviewing will be discussed in the future<br>
community meetings, look out for agenda items for the subject.<br>
<br>
Let's make the document even better together.<br>
<br>
Cheers,<br>
Pasi<br>
<span class="HOEnZb"><font color="#888888"><br>
--<br>
Pasi Lallinaho (knome) » <a href="http://open.knome.fi/" target="_blank">http://open.knome.fi/</a><br>
Leader of Shimmer Project and Xubuntu » <a href="http://shimmerproject.org/" target="_blank">http://shimmerproject.org/</a><br>
Graphic artist, webdesigner, Ubuntu member » <a href="http://xubuntu.org/" target="_blank">http://xubuntu.org/</a><br>
<br>
<br>
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</font></span></blockquote></div><br>