[UbuntuWomen] on names, language and a request for advice

[Emma Jane Hogbin]

I have a bit of a dilemma that I'd like advice on... (a variation of
this was also posted on my personal blog www.emmajane.net)

I occasionally give tech support in #ubuntu. This weekend someone logged
into the channel with the nickname "stupidgirl." While I cannot confirm
the person's gender, I can definitely confirm their questions were not
stupid. They asked a lot of really good questions and were obviously
trying to solve a very tricky problem. I found it jarring even though
nothing about the person's behaviour was negative. It was just the name
that made me uncomfortable.

Unclear on how to deal with the problem, I joined the staff room and
asked, "Out of curiosity: is there a way to NOT allow the user name
'stupidgirl'?" http://irclogs.ubuntu.com/2008/02/18/%23ubuntu-ops.html
I logged out at 6:07. They continued to talk about me. The tone
continued to lack respect for the issue. I was unable to articulate my
concern in a way that made sense to the staff.

I decided the only real way to deal with my concern was to go to the
source of my concern. I sent stupidgirl a private message that read,
"I'm part of the Ubuntu Women project. I just wanted to drop you a
little note to say that I find your name jarring. I don't think it helps
to provide positive language for women in technology." It turned into a
lovely discussion. I helped her with the question she'd been asking
earlier and pointed her at a bunch of resources and provided support
while she tried to fix her problem (ultimately she solved the problem
using a different approach and without my help the next day).

Once she was settled on how to tackle her problem I asked, "So now that
I've done you a favour with the instructions... can I ask for a favour?
Your nick... I really do think it doesn't help to give women in FOSS
positive language/role models/etc." And with that she changed her name
and was using her revised name today when I logged into #ubuntu-women. I
am delighted beyond words that such a simple action on my part created
the change that I wanted to see.

I understand that the volunteer staff do not have the time to address
everyone's concerns. I understand they make choices based on what they
feel is important to the rest of the community. But they have all signed
a Code of Conduct that requires them to be respectful. Dismissing my
concerns as "emotional" is not respectful. Every day I scan thousands
upon thousands of words. Emails, Web pages, text-based chatrooms,
reports. I am affected by what I see on screen. I am sure that others
are too.

It is the collective sum of our token actions that will make the
difference in the end. We cannot solve a problem if we are not willing
to tackle it. And we cannot tackle it if we do not name it. And we
cannot name it if our language doesn't recognize it.


And now for the questions:
(1) do you think derogatory names impact our perception of that group?
(2) do you think names like "stupidgirl" should be permitted?
(3) how can we create a positive space (for women) without censoring people?
(4) how would you have addressed the problem with the #ubuntu-ops
channel so they understood my concern (clearly I was not effective,
pointers are appreciated)?
(5) are there further actions that I should take (including addressing
the issue directly with the IRC Council)?




regards,
emma

-- 
Emma Jane Hogbin, B.Sc.
Founder, xtrinsic
phone: (519) 371-2665
web: www.xtrinsic.com

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