[UbuntuWomen] on names, language and a request for advice

[Cathy]

Emma,

Thanks for sharing your experience.


> (1) do you think derogatory names impact our perception of that group?
>

Of course. Companies spend heaps of money trying to create new, invigorating
brand names that will "impact our perception". It takes a thick pair of
blinders to be able to say that words don't carry weight.

(2) do you think names like "stupidgirl" should be permitted?


Yes, but dealt with the same way you did -- approach the person who used it
and ask if they could change it please? The person who picked it probably
needs to go through the learning process. It should have been supported by
the core staff.

>
> (3) how can we create a positive space (for women) without censoring
> people?


Do what you did. Allow mistakes up front and help people see past them.

>
> (4) how would you have addressed the problem with the #ubuntu-ops
> channel so they understood my concern (clearly I was not effective,
> pointers are appreciated)?


Build a basis of consensus with other team members who agree with you
(raising my hand in a "me too" gesture).

>
> (5) are there further actions that I should take (including addressing
> the issue directly with the IRC Council)?


I don't yet understand the inner working of the group well enough yet to see
a good solution but this situation does remind me a bit of Stormy Peters
talk at SCALE. She talked about how big business just doesn't get it re:
FOSS development. It's true, they don't, but we can make an impact by
showing them how its done -- how to create effective teams, how to balance
paid vs volunteer support, how to prioritize in order to respect the FOSS
way of doing things. It seems like perhaps in this situation, you are the
minority who is trying to show them the way to a more respectful dialogue.
Stormy's last slide was "Show them how" (I think -- that's the concept that
stuck with me at least).

I hate it when people are mean. Maybe you can simply continue to "Show them
how"?

--Cathy
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