request for review of Ubuntu 9.04 beta release announcement

[Gerry Carr]

Matt Zimmerman wrote:
> On Wed, Mar 25, 2009 at 06:59:30PM -0700, Steve Langasek wrote:
>   
>> Hi all,
>>
>> Here is a draft for the Ubuntu 9.04 beta email announcement:
>>
>>   https://wiki.ubuntu.com/JauntyJackalope/BetaAnnouncement
>>
>> Please review and advise me of any problems.
>>     
>
> Quote:
>   
>> Faster boot times:  an extensive review of Ubuntu's boot-time code means
>> you can spend less time waiting and more time being productive with your
>> Ubuntu desktop.
>>     
>
> Reviewing the boot-time code doesn't make it any faster. :-)
>
> How about: improvements to Ubuntu's startup process mean...?
>
> Notification system: if I didn't already know what this was, I wouldn't
> understand from this paragraph (what's a notification? what does it do?).
> It should either include a brief explanation (if possible), or link to a
> page which explains what this is all about.  Julian should be able to help.
>   
Here's the language in the release:
"Notifications, those alerts that signify a change of status on your 
system or whether someone is contacting you, have been been made 
consistent across applications to provide a pleasing, intuitive 
experience for users.
>   
>> Cloud computing:  using Eucalyptus technology, the latest release of
>> Ubuntu will bring Amazon Elastic Compute Cloud (EC2)-like infrastructure
>> capabilities inside the firewall
>>     
>
> This is a bit awkward.  How about:
>
> "Eucalyptus puts you in control of your own cloud computing infrastructure,
> compatible with Amazon's Elastic Compute Cloud (EC2) but running on your own
> servers behind your firewall."
>   
I am not sure compatible is the point - is it analogous. How about:

"Eucalyptus puts you in control of your own cloud computing infrastructure,
using similar tools and concepts to Amazon's Elastic Compute Cloud (EC2) but running on your own
servers behind your firewall."