[DC LoCo] Help put Ubuntu in space.

[Ted Smith]

On Wed, 2009-03-11 at 20:49 -0400, Kevin Cole wrote:
> Consider it a tribute to space tourist Mark Shuttleworth. ;-)
> 
> NASA's running a contest to name the newest node of the International
> Space Station, and while Stephen Colbert, Dave Barry's dog Buddy, and
> Scientology's alien master Xenu are all in the running, so is Ubuntu.
> As entertaining as the other names are, I think I'm going to play it
> serious (for once) and vote to give it a more meaningful name.
> Details
> 
> http://www.nasa.gov/externalflash/name_ISS/index.html
> 
> -- 
> Ubuntu Linux DC LoCo
> Washington, DC
> http://dc.ubuntu-us.org/
> 

I hate to see ignorance of a religion, so I'm going to have to correct
you there.

Xenu is not the "alien master" of the Scientologists. Xenu was the ruler
of the Galactic Confederacy, a union of 26 stars and 76 planets,
including Teegeeack, what we now call Earth. Life in the Galactic
Confederacy was remarkably similar to our own, with clothing much like
that of the late 20th century West, and transportation technology
(specifically cars, trains, and boats) looking exactly the same as
Western transportation in the 50's and 60's. 

Xenu was going to be deposed from power, so he implemented a plan to rid
the Confederacy of excess population (the average population of a planet
in the Confederacy was 178 billion). With the aid of psychiatrists, he
summoned billions of people together for an "income tax inspection",
then paralyzed them, captured their souls in mixtures of alcohol and
glycol, and loaded them in his Space DC-8's. A Space DC-8 is identical
to our Earth DC-8, except without engines.

Once brought to Teegeeack, the paralyzed Confederates were put into
volcanoes, which were then barraged with hydrogen bombs (for the list of
volcanoes used, audit yourself up to the Operating Thetan level III and
then see the appropriate documentation). This is why the cover of
Dianetics and other Church of Scientology materials have pictures of
erupting volcanoes on them.

These poor souls (thetans) were blasted into the air, but were caught by
Xenu's electronic ribbon surrounding Teegeeack's atmosphere. From there,
the thetans were corralled into implanting theatres, where they were
forced to watch 3d motion pictures implanting them with various ideas,
such as the Crucifixion and Catholicism. This implant, called R6, is the
basis for all world religions.

Eventually, Xenu was overthrown by the Loyal Officers, and imprisoned in
a trap sometimes located in the Pyrenees, sometimes on Mars. He remains
imprisoned to this day.

Sorry to have to butt in with this, but I believe comprehensive
knowledge and appreciation of varying religions is essential for
developing tolerance among people of different faiths. Immersion in the
rich tradition of Scientology in particular helps those unfamiliar with
it cultivate a unique appreciation for the Church.

If you wish to learn more about the Church of Scientology, open the
attached .torrent file. Within is a vast wealth of Scientologist
information that I've found essential in understanding the Church.

</long missive>

I voted Ubuntu. :-) It's essential we get to space before Redmond. We
don't want that god-awful flag on the Moon.

 - Ted
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