request for review of Ubuntu 8.10 release announcement

[Sam Hain]

Hello
 
I am a developer tool and API tech writer with a big wireless software company in Wloo.
My own take on this text, for whatever my 2 cents is worth, is as follows:
 
 
"Users requiring a longer support lifetime may choose to continue using Ubuntu
8.04 LTS rather than upgrading to or installing 8.10."
 
could be re-written as:
 
"User that would like to use a version of Ubuntu that is supported for a longer period of time may continue to use Ubuntu version 8.04 LTS instead of Ubuntu version 8.10"
 
-----------------------
 
"Ubuntu 8.10 is also the basis for new 8.10 releases of Kubuntu, Xubuntu,
UbuntuStudio, and Mythbuntu"
 
could be re-written as:
 
"Version 8.10 releases of Kubuntu, Xubuntu,
UbuntuStudio, and Mythbuntu are based on Ubuntu version 8.10."
 
<maybe use bullet points for the list of 4 items that follow this text>
 
-----------------------
 
"Because Ubuntu 8.04 LTS is a long-term support release, users of that release
will not be offered an automatic upgrade to 8.10 via Update Manager.  For
instructions on upgrading to Ubuntu 8.10, see"
 
could be re-written as:
 
"Ubuntu version 8.04 is a long-term support release. Users of Ubuntu version 8.04 will not receive an automatic upgrade for Ubuntu version 8.10 through the Update Manager. 
For instructions on how to upgrade to Ubuntu version 8.10, please visit"

-----------------------
 
"Ubuntu is a full-featured Linux distribution for desktops, laptops, and
servers, with a fast and easy install and regular releases.  A
tightly-integrated selection of excellent applications is included, and
an incredible variety of add-on software is just a few clicks away."

could be re-written as:
 
 
"Ubuntu is a full-featured Linux distribution for desktops, laptops, and
servers, with a fast and easy install and regular releases.  Ubuntu includes
a tightly-integrated selection of excellent applications. An incredible variety of add-on software is just a few clicks away."
 
 
Please take what you want from this  :)
 
Sam
 
 



 


--- On Wed, 10/29/08, Dougie Richardson <ddrichardson at btinternet.com> wrote:

From: Dougie Richardson <ddrichardson at btinternet.com>
Subject: Re:Re: request for review of Ubuntu 8.10 release announcement
To: steve.langasek at canonical.com, dustin.kirkland at gmail.com, ubuntu-doc at lists.ubuntu.com
Received: Wednesday, October 29, 2008, 4:47 PM


Hi Steve,

Its still a little awkward, I thought:

"Ubuntu 8.04 LTS (Long Term Support) users will not be offered an automatic upgrade via Update Manager."

was a little clearer. 

Regards,

Dougie Richardson (dougie at lynxworks.eu), sent from my Aspire One - excuse the msipellings. 


----- Original message ----- 
Sent: 2008/10/29 20:20:26 
Subject: Re:Re: request for review of Ubuntu 8.10 release announcement 

On Wed, Oct 29, 2008 at 08:50:56AM -0500, Dustin Kirkland wrote: 
> On Wed, Oct 29, 2008 at 4:09 AM, Matt Zimmerman wrote: 
> > On Wed, Oct 29, 2008 at 01:36:20AM -0700, Steve Langasek wrote: 
> >> Here is a draft for the Ubuntu 8.10 email announcement: 

> >> https://wiki.ubuntu.com/IntrepidIbex/ReleaseAnnouncement 

> >> Please review and advise me of any problems. 

> I think this sentence reads funny, since the present subject is 8.10. 

> Because it is a long-term support release, users of Ubuntu 8.04 LTS will not 
> be offered an automatic upgrade to 8.10 via Update Manager. 

> I think the following would read better: 

> Users of Ubuntu 8.04 LTS, as a long-term support release, will not 
> be offered 
> an automatic upgrade to 8.10 via Update Manager. 

Hmm, very odd... I also noticed this was a bit awkward, so had changed it 
to: 

Because Ubuntu 8.04 LTS is a long-term support release, users of that 
release will not be offered an automatic upgrade to 8.10 via Update 
Manager. 

... but the wiki says that I then reverted this change. 

I've restored it now - do you think that text is adequate? 

-- 
Steve Langasek Give me a lever long enough and a Free OS 
Debian Developer to set it on, and I can move the world. 
Ubuntu Developer http://www.debian.org/ 
slangasek at ubuntu.com vorlon at debian.org 

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