Request for proofreading of release announcement mail

[Steve Langasek]

Hi,

On Wed, Oct 17, 2007 at 04:43:49PM +0530, Bhuvaneswaran A wrote:

> > A draft for the Ubuntu 7.10 email announcement is now available at
> > <https://wiki.ubuntu.com/GutsyGibbon/ReleaseAnnouncement>.  Please review
> > and advise me (in cc:, please) of any problems.

> > Following the pattern of past release announcements, this draft is light on
> > technical detail, referring to pending press releases, the release notes,
> > and the upgrade guide for most of the meat.  Kubuntu and Edubuntu are linked
> > to from this mail; Xubuntu and Gobuntu are expected to announce separately.

> I propose following changes:

> a) In "To Get Ubuntu 7.10" section, we can also mention that the user
> can order a copy of CD from shipit.ubuntu.com website.

Thanks, but we are already linking to http://www.ubuntu.com/getubuntu which
links to shipit under "Request free CDs"; that seems sufficient to me?

> b) In same section, I recommend to modify the following sentence:

> """We recommend that all users read the release notes, which will document
> any caveats and workarounds for known issues.  They are available at:"""

> as

> """We recommend you to read the release notes, where we have
> documented the caveats and workarounds for known issues. The release
> notes is available at:"""

I don't agree with this edit; first, "we recommend you to read" is awkward
to me (in en_US), and second, this recommendation is indeed directed at
users of Ubuntu, whereas the release announcement will be read by people who
may not use Ubuntu and there's no need to recommend that people who aren't
going to use Ubuntu read the release notes. :)

Your suggestion does highlight for me another imperfection in this text,
though, so thank you.  I've now changed the text to read:

  We recommend that all users read the release notes, which document caveats
  and workarounds for known issues.