Request for proofreading of release announcement mail

[Kyle Nitzsche]

Hi:

That the distribution is free and open source isn't mentioned, and  
perhaps a bit of verbiage to emphasize that this isn't bleeding edge/ 
untested stuff but is a complete solution would be nice.

A few minor notes regarding the second paragraph:
--I'm not sure what a "tight selection" of applications means
--"with".. applications .. "included" seems a tad redundant
--"incredible variety" seems a little pat

So I propose a  slight rewording.

Current second paragraph:
"
Ubuntu is a Linux distribution for your desktop or server, with a fast
and easy install, regular releases, a tight selection of excellent
applications included, and an incredible variety of add-on software
available with a few clicks.
"
Proposed second paragraph:
"
Ubuntu is a free, full-featured Linux distribution for desktops and  
servers that's been widely used in homes and businesses for years.  
It's quick and easy to install and has regular updates. Ubuntu comes  
with a wide range of top quality applications, with thousands more  
just a few clicks away. Everything is open source and free and will  
remain that way.
"

Cheers,
Kyle


On Oct 17, 2007, at 4:00 AM, Steve Langasek wrote:

> Hi again,
>
> A draft for the Ubuntu 7.10 email announcement is now available at
> <https://wiki.ubuntu.com/GutsyGibbon/ReleaseAnnouncement>.  Please  
> review
> and advise me (in cc:, please) of any problems.
>
> Following the pattern of past release announcements, this draft is  
> light on
> technical detail, referring to pending press releases, the release  
> notes,
> and the upgrade guide for most of the meat.  Kubuntu and Edubuntu  
> are linked
> to from this mail; Xubuntu and Gobuntu are expected to announce  
> separately.
>
> Comments?
>
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