serverguide - couple of comments

[Matthew East]

On Mon, 2006-01-16 at 10:24 -0500, Brian Shumate wrote:
> -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
> Hash: SHA1
> 
> Matt:
> 
> I am doing a patch with commands in <screen> to submit for the  
> material I have edited.  So far, it has a weird appearance in Yelp,  
> but that may very well be due to something I've done wrong- I don't  
> know.

What's the trouble? You may need some white spaces before the </screen>
tag, see the source of the preface in serverguide.

> In the specific case of the OpenSSH part of ServerGuide, do  
> you have some examples of the too many words, and overly repeated  
> phrases?

Some of the things I took out are here:

http://lists.ubuntu.com/archives/ubuntu-doc-commits/2006-January/001781.html

Something I noticed was that the guide introduces what a stage will do,
and then explaining again what it does in the section. Also, a sentence
was spent on explaining what the "sudo apt-get install" bit did, which
is not needed.
 
Matt
-- 
mdke at ubuntu.com
gnupg pub 1024D/0E6B06FF
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: signature.asc
Type: application/pgp-signature
Size: 189 bytes
Desc: This is a digitally signed message part
URL: <https://lists.ubuntu.com/archives/ubuntu-doc/attachments/20060116/329dafec/attachment.pgp>