update for breezy

[Brian Shumate]

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Nice document.  I have some observances which may be of use:

"The Ubuntu community is made up of software developers,  
documentation writers, translators, graphic artists, and most  
importantly, the people who are using Ubuntu in their everyday life.  
We invite you to join this community and help shape Ubuntu into an  
operating system that meets your needs better."

should read:

The Ubuntu community is made up of software developers, documentation  
writers, translators, graphic artists, and most importantly, the  
people who are using Ubuntu in their everyday life. We invite you to  
join this community and help shape Ubuntu into an operating system  
that better meets your needs.

to be considered proper English.

"The core operating system at the heart of Ubuntu is the GNU  
(pronounced “guh-noo") operating environment. The GNU project is the  
brainchild of Richard Stallman, and is now formally managed by the  
Free Software Foundation. The project was launched in 1984 to develop  
a complete UNIX style operating system which is free software: the  
GNU system. (GNU is a recursive acronym for “GNU's Not UNIX” that  
refects the fact that the GNU environment follows the design  
principles and replicates many of the commands of UNIX, but is in  
fact a completely independent implementation)."

I do not think "managed" is the proper term here.  The Free Software  
Foundation is certainly the principal organizational sponsor of the  
GNU Project, but sponsorship does not necessarily imply management.   
Perhaps this could be re-worded as:

"The GNU project is the brainchild of Richard Stallman, and is now  
sponsored by the Free Software Foundation which Mr. Stallman also  
directs."

The above can be considered an accurate reflection of the current  
relational situation as stated by each organization.

Consider removing "UNIX style" -  The next sentence / parenthetical  
statement explains that GNU is similar in design to UNIX anyway, so  
it is probably not necessary here, and seems to diminish the fact  
that GNU's not Unix. ;-)

Also, the last parenthetical statement itself is probably too large  
to be one, and should most likely be a free-standing sentence.

Kind Regards,

Brian Shumate
GPG: 0x441E06C0




On Dec 10, 2005, at 7:48 AM, Matthew East wrote:

> Hi all,
>
> When breezy released I asked mdz if it would be ok to do a translation
> based update to Breezy. In principle he was ok with the idea, so
> recently I have started thinking about doing one. At the same time it
> also occurred to me that the firefox homepage in Breezy is pretty darn
> ugly, so it might be an idea to do an update of
> the /usr/share/ubuntu-artwork/home/index.html file, using the new css
> that we use on the dapper version of the document. I spoke to mdz  
> and he
> was fine about this too, in fact he said that it would be a  
> possibility
> (since that file is not translated) to upload the changes we've  
> made to
> the text as well. So I will try and prepare a new package for
> breezy-updates in the new few days, but I want to make absolutely sure
> (a) that people agree with this, and (b) that if we are going to  
> update
> the text of the browser homepage that there are no embarassing  
> spelling
> errors :)
>
> So would anyone mind running their eyes over
> http://doc.ubuntu.com/ubuntu/about-ubuntu/C/index.html and proof read
> it?
>
> Thanks!
>
> Matt
> -- 
> mdke at ubuntu.com
> gnupg pub 1024D/0E6B06FF
> -- 
> ubuntu-doc mailing list
> ubuntu-doc at lists.ubuntu.com
> http://lists.ubuntu.com/mailman/listinfo/ubuntu-doc

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