http://bazaar-vcs.org/BzrFeatures - improving page

[Jari Aalto]

Ian Clatworthy <ian.clatworthy at canonical.com> writes:

> I've made another round of improvements based on your text. I ended up
> moving the 'unique features' out of the summary into the details section
> because the two section were looking the same size before then. I also
> expanded the description of best practices we encourage.

The section moves were very good. The page is much clearer now.

It's probably me, raised in Finland, that somehow I feel more confident
in reading rather neutral texts which use basic, passive tone. I tend to
consider those texts more trustworthy when they leave decicions to my
consideration; tells me what it has to offer and try to avoid to "court"
me with:

    You ...
    Your [team] ...
    Theirs ...
    We ...
    Our ...

I would also be very wary about not comparing or making other tools to
appear in a bad light.

So I would be temptated to replace, somethink like this:

        Adaptive. Bazaar supports central and distributed source code
        management with ease. Changing from an existing central version
    *   control tool to Bazaar does not require your team to change their
        workflow. Distributed version control features can be adopted
        gradually.

    with

        Adaptive. Bazaar supports central and distributed source code
        management with ease. Changing from an existing central version
    *   control tool to Bazaar does not require changes in current
        workflow. Distributed version control features can be adopted
        gradually.

(2)

        Productive. The command line tool emphasizes ease of use and
        provides help for every command. Easy to learn GUI tools are
        available for Windows, Linux and OS X. Helpful documentation is
        available in HTML, PDF and Windows Help formats.
    =>

     *  Productive. The basic commands in Bazaar are easy and familiar
     *  to existing Version Control tools. The command contains a help
     *  page to quickly consult the syntax and options. Graphical user
     *  interfaces (GUIs) are available for Windows, Linux and OS X.
     *  Documentation is available in HTML, PDF and Windows Help
     *  formats.

(3)

        Unique. Bazaar has several features that most other tools do
        not. These include proper rename tracking, transparent foreign
        branches and direct Launchpad integration. See below for
        details.

    =>

     *  Unique. Feature unique to Bazaar include proper rename tracking,
        transparent foreign branches and direct Launchpad integration.
        See below for details.

(4)

        Continuously improving. We deliver several dozen improvements to
        our users every six months with beta releases available every
        month. This ensures that bugs are addressed in a timely manner
        and new features are available to early adopters for testing and
        refinement before widespread adoption.

    =>

     *  Continuously improving. With regular release schedules, the bugs
     *  are addressed and new features added. New stable releases are
     *  available every six months and beta releases are available for
     *  early adopters every month for testing.

Etc. for the rest. What do you think?

Jari