I'd agree. That segment from the article seemed right to me as well. Something else that I didn't see mentioned in the article but the subject matter reminded me of it was the notion of special treatment. One of the things I've often noticed is not all the attention you get from being a woman in a technology related field is necessarily outright negative attention. I know I've been in situation both workwise and with school where my opinion on something was weighted as more important than an equally or even more skilled peer because I was female, or that there were certain against the rule behaviors (like tardiness) that the powers that be might ignore coming from a female but would punish a male for. For all the negativity, I've seen TONS of situations where there have been double standards tipped in favor of the female by professors or management. That, I think, has been the double edged sword....I've come to learn, personally, that my attitude going into a classroom or a workplace where I'm possibly going to be the only woman in the room is exceedingly important. If I go in with the attitude that I can get away with murder and to hell what anyone thinks and my actions display that, I'm not necessarily going to be forging good relationships with my coworkers. If I go in with the attitude that all these men are potential sleezeballs trying to get into my pants, and my comments and body language reflect that, I'm also not going to be forging good relationships built on trust. If I'm relaxed, confidant (but not condescending) and am true to myself I've found that it puts the guys I'm interacting with at ease, and things go smoothly and I'm accepted into the group. <div class="gmail_quote">On Wed, Jun 25, 2008 at 10:31 AM, Elizabeth Bevilacqua <<a href="mailto:lyz@ubuntu.com">lyz@ubuntu.com</a>> wrote: <blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;"> Posted in the #debian-women channel on oftc: <a href="http://itmanagement.earthweb.com/features/article.php/3755141/The+Invasion+of+the+Female+Programmers+%28You+Might+Have+to+Work+with+One%29.htm" target="_blank">http://itmanagement.earthweb.com/features/article.php/3755141/The+Invasion+of+the+Female+Programmers+(You+Might+Have+to+Work+with+One).htm</a> I especially like this bit, which feels right on to me: "Also, we think it's sweet when you guys are on your best behavior for us. However, we would rather everyone feel comfortable. It's an awkward balance in the beginning. My tip: wait for the cue from her. If she touches on some more controversial topics she's inviting you to do so as well, just make sure your new lady feels that she can tell you guys when to stop. Once you reach this balance you won't remember what it was like without her – introducing a lady to the team creates an awesome dynamic. " Far too often I get the "But if there are women we can't joke around anymore" - being aware of your peers and striking the appropriate dynamic is what it's all about, it's not as hard as it seems, even for the marginally socially inept. Indeed, in all the projects I'm involved with it takes a bit of adjusting, but it tends to all work out and is a lot of fun. -- Elizabeth Bevilacqua <a href="http://www.princessleia.com" target="_blank">http://www.princessleia.com</a> -- ubuntu-women mailing list <a href="mailto:ubuntu-women@lists.ubuntu.com">ubuntu-women@lists.ubuntu.com</a> <a href="https://lists.ubuntu.com/mailman/listinfo/ubuntu-women" target="_blank">https://lists.ubuntu.com/mailman/listinfo/ubuntu-women</a> </blockquote></div> -- nikkiana <a href="http://www.everytomorrow.org">http://www.everytomorrow.org</a> <a href="http://www.knitgeeklife.com">http://www.knitgeeklife.com</a>