backup-thinkabout.page system-wide settings
Tom Davies
tomdavies04 at yahoo.co.uk
Fri Sep 6 08:02:04 UTC 2013
Hi :)
I think you are right. Yours does look much better than the original. In addition though i think "Home computer" is a very antiquated term nowadays? So, perhaps further changes?
SUGGESTED version2?
System-wide settings
Settings for important parts of the system are not stored in your
Home folder. Instead they are most commonly found in the /etc
folder. On a normal computer, you will not usually need to back-up
those files. However, on a server you should back-up the files for
the major services that run the system.
I was wondering about the "in" whether it should be "on" instead and then realised it probably shouldn't be there at all. For most people "the system" includes most of the services that run on it.
Don't be shy about editing. Some things were written so long ago, and/or by non-native English speakers, and/or have been edited word-by-word so many times since that radically re-doing a whole paragraph (or more) is the only way to make it sensible again. In the above example the 2nd sentence is still part of the "scene setting". The way it disagrees with the 1st sentence is just to give the reader some background information. It is that final sentence that really needs to grab people.
You seem to have good instincts so don't fight against them so much.
Regards from
Tom :)
________________________________
From: John Kim <johnkim.ubuntu at gmail.com>
To: ubuntu-doc at lists.ubuntu.com
Sent: Thursday, 5 September 2013, 23:24
Subject: backup-thinkabout.page system-wide settings
Hello doc team,
I've been reviewing some docs lately, and this paragraph here really
bothered me. The subject has the file name.
ORIGINAL:
System-wide settings
Settings for important parts of the system aren't stored in your
Home folder. There are a number of locations that they could be
stored, but most are stored in the /etc folder. In general, you
won't need to back up these files on a home computer. If you are
running a server, however, you should back up the files for the services that it is running.
SUGGESTED (My own):
System-wide settings
Settings for important parts of the system are not stored in your
Home folder. However, they are most commonly found in the /etc
folder. On a home computer, you generally won't need to back up
these files. On a server, however, you should back up the files for
the major services that run in the system.
Hopefully I didn't alter the original meaning of the settings, but
it seems very hard to revise it. See the italics I've done for the
original; that line bothered me the most. What is "that it is
running?" Can someone else come up with a better paraphrase for the
sentence, or even the paragraph?
Thanks very much!
--
John Kim
Student / Pylang maintainer www.launchpad.net/pylang johnkim.ubuntu at gmail.com
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