Review of About Kubuntu page

[Nitesh Mistry]

I just completed the review of the "About Kubuntu" page. Please let me know
if there is a better way of submitting suggestions

page source :
~ubuntu-core-doc/kubuntu-docs/lucid : /docs/about/C/about.xml (revision 127)

suggestions:

line 17: "philosophy as well as its roots," - should be "its philosophy as
well as its roots,"

typo at line 27: "...operating that system that uses..." - word 'that' not
need between words 'operating' and 'system'.

line 49-51: "&kubuntu;'s core applications include... and more!" -
suggested sentence "&kubuntu;'s core applications include web browser,
software for communicating via email, instant messaging, word processing and
spreadsheet applications, multimedia player and many more!" - logic: need to
mention about instant messaging because of the popularity, rest all changes
for easy understanding (commonly used words).

line 59: "The team behind the Ubuntu and &kubuntu; projects..." --> "The
team behind the &kubuntu; project makes the following commitment to its
users:" - no need to mention Ubuntu as all the items mentioned below is
specific to Kubuntu. eg. the first item itself reads as "&kubuntu; will
always utilize the solid base of the Ubuntu project...".

line 81-83: "&kubuntu; includes the ... possible." --> "&kubuntu; will
always include the ... possible." - logic: since philosophy is more like
mission statement, it should be in future tense; also more consistent with
first two items.

line 88-90: "&kubuntu; is entirely committed ... pass it on." --> "&kubuntu;
will always be committed ... pass it on." - logic: same as for lines 81-83

line 101: "required for free operating system" - the word 'free' is not
required.

line 137: "Among &kde;'s products are a modern desktop" --> "&kde;
provides wide range of products including a modern" - logic: avoid the
apostrophe for better translation and also avoid forced gramatical error in
writing "are a".

line 140: "Internet" --> "internet" - 'I' should not be capital.

line 143: "&kde; 4's full-featured applications" --> "Full-featured
applications of &kde; 4" - logic: elemination of apostrophe.

line 152: "&kde;'s Website" --> "Official &kde; Website" - logic:
elemination of apostrophe.

Also need to include the "Getting Help" section from previous release:

<sect2 id="kubuntu-help" status="complete">
<title>Getting help</title>

<para>
There are various locations for you to receive help with your Kubuntu
system. A
list of the most common locations are found in the <ulink type="help"
url="help:/kubuntu/getting-help">Getting Help</ulink> section of the Kubuntu
documentation.
</para>
</sect2>


Hope this is a good beginning!

Regards,
-- 
Nitesh
http://techformyself.blogspot.com

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