request for review: intrepid release candidate announcement

[Jon]

Hi

Steve Langasek wrote:
> Hi Matt, Gerry & all,
> 
> Please find below the draft announcement for the 8.10 RC.  Comments,
> fixes, and suggestions are all welcome.
> 
> I'm expecting information on two more flavors for RC, Mobile and MID, that
> will be releasing 8.10 versions.  The links to per-flavor pages are also
> subject to change based on their actual availability when we hit the button. 
> And as before, the mirror list will be refreshed closer to the release.
> 
> Otherwise, everything there is what I'm thinking we should mail out - please
> disabuse me of this notion if I've missed something. :-)
> 
> The canonical location of this draft as we incorporate fixes is on the wiki
> at <https://wiki.ubuntu.com/IntrepidIbex/RCAnnouncement>.
> 
> Thanks,

My 0.02 is:

1.

" * Upgrade from Ubuntu, Kubuntu, or Edubuntu 8.04 to the Release
   Candidate by following the instructions given above."

The instructions appear to be below, not above, this text.

2.

"Xubuntu comes with the light-weight Xfce 4.4.2 desktop environment for
those who want a desktop that is easy to use, but places particular
emphasis on conserving system resources.

I would use the word "place" instead of "places"

3.

"Ubuntu Studio includes the updates to input hardware and sound device
management from Ubuntu Desktop, and includes a complete suite of tools
for generation of audio, video, and graphic content."

I would say "...device management from the Ubuntu Desktop, and includes
a complete suite of audio, video, and graphic generation tools"

Off I go to torrent....

Thanks,

Jon