Understanding people

David M. Pelly david.pelly at hotmail.ca
Mon Sep 2 15:20:22 UTC 2013







Dear Gord, Colin and Aruna , and to whom ever else it may concern,

The thread that I initiated has  spurred and  stimulated necessary and beneficial responses, to expose and bring to light the better standards of the people in the group.

Any group is only as good as the sum of it's members.




 I thank you all for speaking up, and making yourself known. 



The true quality of a person is not determined by social veneer.  

The true quality of a person is determined when the person is put to the test.

The true quality of a person is determined in times of conflict,  and adversity.

Do they become part of the solution or part of the problem? 

The best ways to determine the true quality, the true character, the true colors of a person is to get married to the person, or get into business with the person. 





While I prefer not to make this forum  a place to vent or expose  personal problems, (as it usually considered ungraceful or something like that)  but at the same time  it is necessary and beneficial for those who are more able,  to understand that there are people who are less able.

It is important to know this stuff, no matter in what area. 

What is wrong with life ( even families and companies)  is often the things that are not talked about.

And they do not talk about them because they do not know how to talk about the problem, and are not qualified to to talk about the problem.  And in order to have a meaningful discussion about this subject,  it takes a lot of the right kind of education.  Otherwise the discussion will not be meaningful or constructive. It will actually cause more problems. 

That is the dilemma  with such a serious and common problem.



Even though this is going to be off linear , off  topic, I will do it.  

And I may get scorned for this by some.

But life is non linear and every part of life is effected by every other part of life in some way.

So there has to be exceptions for every rule. 

(And everyone deals with children in some way, whether your own or someone else's.  And there is nothing more important than the quality and the sanity of the next generation.  Children are little people. They are the big  people of tomorrow. I say children, and focus this dissertation more for the sake of children,  because I feel more concern for children, than adults.  The most difference can be made with addressing children. ) 

(And this is especially directed to those who are more able and often  scorn and scoff at, sneer at, or shun and berate the less able.)  



(And this is a huge subject and cannot be clearly and fully explained in a forum such as this, but it is so important to know this stuff, that I am going to post a brief summary, regardless of what any one says.)  



When ever you are working with people,  you always have to take this into consideration.

To effectively work with people,  you have to understand people and their minds.


This is part of of "people skills".

The more you understand this, the more effective you are in every walk of life.

And:  You are always "selling"  yourself. 



Basically we are all only as good as we have been bred and brought up and educated.

We are a sum  product of genetics, a conception, and an upbringing.



Now those of you who are interested in sports, and follow the media, should be well aware of the law suits going on now by  players,   who have received concussions,    are now suing the leagues for hundreds of millions of dollars. 

Concussions are very similar to child abuse.

Concussions and abuse cause brain damage. 

In plain language these factors cause "stupidity", .......varying and relative degrees of stupidity.

Mental malfunction.

Simply and succinctly stated,  stupidity is the relative inability to evaluate data.

Intelligence is the relative ability to evaluate data.

Ignorance is the lack of data to evaluate.

Insanity is the relative  inability to determine right from wrong. Impaired judgment. I

n the extreme, it is the persistent  desire  to  do wrong.  Those kinds of people are institutionalized  to protect society. 



Intelligence is effected by the physical structure (organic) make up of the brain.

Genetic defects, and damage received in the womb and damage received  during and after birth,  effects  the physical ability and speed of the brain to evaluate and process data. 

(Damage after birth includes verbal abuse, such as being told you are stupid and retarded and the like, especially relentlessly, for yrs.) (Emotional abuse, emotional malnourishment,  and abandonment also disable, break and rot the spirit.) 



There are 100s or maybe even 1000s of parts to the brain.  

Scientists are continuously making new discoveries in this area.


Because each area of life is controlled by it's own brain  motor, people can be geniuses in some area (s)  and completely stupid in others. And everything in between. That is why you get savants.  

And often when a part or some parts of the brain are defective or damaged, other parts that are undamaged are often enhanced in ability. 



And I don't mind discussing my own case, in public,  because I hope I can enlighten people and also hopefully prevent some other children, through you the readers of this post,  from going through what I did.

( And I know very few people know this, that is understand the cause of mental illness and learning disabilities and emotional disorders,  etc. .) 

I grew up in an extremely abusive, suppressive, stupid, backward and insane home.


I was so beat up and traumatized  as a child at home,  that when I was in school,  I had a very difficult time studying and absorbing what the teacher was teaching and was all but totally  unable to read my books and do my homework. My mind was numb from abuse. 

I was "pushed" through grades in school.

The beatings I received caused extreme disorientation and confusion and a host of functional disorders. 

My brain would not work, much like a very slow  computer at the least,  and often like a "frozen computer" in the extreme,  when I get stressed out.

(And the garbage in- garbage out factor .)  

I would  get lost in school every day.

 I had a very difficult time,  finding the right class room in the morning and between classes, or finding  the washroom.

On real bad days,  I would wonder around the school hallways lost and looking for the right classroom and come late,  and on  real bad days, finally find the right class room,  when the class was over.

(Sometimes I would remember to follow someone whom I knew was going to the same class as I was.) 

If I had to find the washroom,  it would some times  take a half hour to do so, sometimes the duration of the entire class time, on real bad days.

And these were small schools.

They were about  10 room schools.

One school had about a 100 kids and the other had about 300. 

When I left home at 19,  I was so disoriented from beatings I had a difficult time walking a straight line.

And this has been the case all my  life. 

This is called Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.  (PTSD)

There are many types of PTSD. 

This is also a form of mental illness. 

I have been in PTSD therapy all my life, in order to survive  this far.


Now here is another problem:

When people see a physically handi- capped person, (physically disabled)  such as a person in a wheel chair, or some one like Steven Hawkins, society goes out of their way to  assist and accommodate  them.

They don't beat them or whip them because they cannot walk or run up stairs.


But not all disabilities are visible.

The brain is an organ or body part and can come (born)  defective, or get damaged or diseased, like any other body part.

And the disconcerting or disheartening  thing about this  is that the the average person  does not have any understanding of this (this is called ignorance) and people with mental problems, metal disabilities are usually scoffed at, or scorned at, sneered at  and shunned.  Even physically abused.

This is the height of ignorance. It is criminal. 


I spent my life trying in every way possible to over come the effects of child abuse.

That was one of my strong points.

I only got my first computer 10 yrs ago when I was 50. 

It was given to me. 

I used library, community  and working center computers for  a few yrs before that.

Because of the effects of child abuse,  for the most part, I was never really able to hold a job  for longer than a few months to a yr. 

I have not been able to get married and have a family. 

I am basically afraid of people.

Like a dog who has been severely and repeatedly  beaten.

But I have learned to tolerate people for short periods of time, anyways.

I have developed pretty good social veneer as a coping skill. 


And when it comes to computers,  they are not my strong point.

I find them overwhelming, beyond web surfing and doing research on line and email. 

I can usually handle one, two or maybe  three variables.

It is all relative  to other effecting factors and the complexity of the variables. 

But when it comes to situations  beyond that, I get overwhelmed and  my brain slows down, or  shuts down, like a computer with too many programs running. 

As you all well know,  the  speed and capacity of a computer is determined by the size, capacity  and quality of  it's components.   The brain is very similar.  

A computer is made  to duplicate the workings of the brain and mind as close as possible. 

And you all know the evolution of computers, from "the  stick to scratch in the sand" ,  to the abacus, to what we have today. 


So unless you have experienced such abuse, or concussions or have birth or genetic defects that cause  brain malfunction,  you have no real or meaningful  idea what mental problems  are like.


My strong point is that I strive  to   think in terms of  how something can be done, instead of how something can't be done.

I identify a problem and then look for the right answers, the right knowledge to solve the problem.


I operate on the idea that there is an answer or solution to every problem.

I have spent my entire  life in research on how to overcome the effects of abuse and mental illness. 

Few people would have survived what I did.

Relatively speaking, I am far from a fully normal fully competent person, but I am a lot better than I used to be.



The purpose of life is to become a master of it, to fulfill your full potential.

How do you do that?

You identify every problem you have, every defect you have, every disorder you have,  every disease you have,  and find the perfect solution for it.

You identify every other type of life problem you have ( outside of yourself ) and find a perfect solution for it. (From relationships to business to what ever else,  to become the best there is in the field. 

The truth is nothing more or less than the right answer to every problem.

Only the truth will solve your problems properly. 

There is no incurable disorder or disease, there are only incurable people with the wrong attutude. 

Or people operating on false and limiting knowledge or no knowledge.

People fail in any endeavor for only one reason and that is for the lack of the right knowledge to solve the problem at hand.

If you have the right knowledge,  you can solve any problem.



The biggest room in the world,  is room for improvement.

The building of a noble character is job that is never completed. 





In hope I have enlightened some people on this list.

If anyone wants any more information on this subject,  you can contact me back channel.

Because at least 30% of society has some form of mental illness or mental problems.

Probably closer to 50%. 

I have never met a person who, I thought could not use some form of mind improvement.

It is all a matter of degree.



Mental illness by any other name,  is still mental illness.

And there are  almost as many types of mental illness as there are people.

The best science can do is categorize them.


And I am sure there is a cure for every type.

But this field is still in it's infancy.


Have a great day,

David 
































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