ZOOLOGY ADMITS DEFEAT OVER COCKS, TITS AND BEAVERS

[Basil Chupin]

BEAVERS are to be renamed 'riverdogs' after zoologists finally conceded 
defeat to the overwhelming forces of sexual innuendo.

The move comes after conservationists admitted that vital research was 
being hampered by email spam filters which prevent the exchange of 
information on species such as the dik-dik, the blue tit and the 
cock-eared fuckmonkey.

Professor Nikki Hollis, a beaver, tit and cock specialist at Reading 
University, said: "In a world retarded by the proliferation of free 
internet pornography and the children's magazine /Nuts/, it is no longer 
viable for any species to have a name that is transferrable to the male 
or female genital parts."

She added: "Last week I addressed a conference in Geneva on the threats 
posed by global warming to the natural habitats of the beaver, the booby 
and the shag.

"I then faced a series of what I strongly believe were non-zoological 
questions, such as 'aren't beavers supposed to be wet?' and 'are the 
hairiest beavers more waterproof?'"

Wildlife bodies have now agreed that tits should be renamed 'skylings', 
thrushes will become 'horse sparrows' and all varieties of cock bird 
shall henceforth be known simply as 'Ian'........


http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/zoology-admits-defeat-over-cocks%2c-tits-and-beavers-201003302602/


-- 
Those who hold and those who are without property have ever formed distinct interests in society.
                                            James Madison

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