An Open Letter to the Open Source Community

[Eric Dunbar]

The responses this thread has generated demonstrate that there IS
indeed a problem with the way people <ahem, men, by-and-large> respond
to any mention of sexism.

> If you put a hand-full of men into a chat-room full of a diverse
> selection of single women he'll be bombarded with suggestive comments
> just as women are in a chat-room (or mailing list) full of a diverse
> selection of single men.

If the chat room is explicitly set up for male-female sexual/courtship
interactions, perhaps!

> The problem is not that men think of women in a way that women do not
> think of men, causing them to act in a sexist way (although there are of
> course some of those). The problem is that men and women do not converse
> in the same way and due to the disparity in population in these forums
> women end up taking more sexual pressure and gender-related banter than
> feels right and comfortable. If the populations were more "natural" that
> pressure wouldn't be there and it would go both ways in equal measure
> just as in every other walk of life where it is normally regarded as a
> bit of fun by both sexes. Hell, in the absence of women men make
> comments to each other that are far more suggestive than anything they
> would say to a woman - for example "while you're down there" is my
> personal favourite.

This is all context-specific. In your personal life your friends are
aware of your sense of humour. On the anonymous internet, people are
not. Nuance or humour is lost very easily unless one is very careful
and articulate (and, few people are).

In a group of men "chumming around" those comments are common. In a
group of men and women chumming around those comments may be
acceptable, DEPENDING on the character of the participants. In
"professional" or public communities (any mailing list NOT dedicated
to personal relationships) these comments are decidedly inappropriate
since there isn't the implied or explicit consent of ALL participants.

> IMHO, the problem is only in the ratio of men to women. The "women's
> clubs" like ubuntu-women are therefore only slightly useful in changing
> the proportion as they provide somewhere where women outnumber the men
> rather than a balance (although due to the nature of the forum any men
> there will be unlikely to receive much of the attention I mentioned
> above).

The ratio isn't going to fix anything. Women can be part of a fully
respectful majority (even overwhelming majority) community, or, they
can even be a majority member of community which is male dominated
(note the different usage of male majority and male dominated).

> I think the best thing that can be done to achieve more balance is to
> try to get forum's set up that by their topic will be populated in a
> balanced way, and move development into those forums. That is going to
> be difficult to do - but it must be done because the current female
> population feels the way they are spoken about is unfair and the current
> male population feels it is a normal "bit of fun". The only solution is
> to get everybody thinking it is a "bit of fun" like they normally do by
> having it go both ways in equal measure like it has done in every
> non-geek social group I've been in.

A "bit of fun" works nicely when participants are on a (reasonably)
equal footing. One where consent can be granted or taken away and
there are consequences to actions. In a public forum like a mailing
list such consent can neither be construed nor can there be
non-trivial consequences (unless one oversteps the bounds of decency
to such an extent that even the most ardant chauvinist might take
heed).

> It would also help if the men would get away from their computers one
> day in six and get laid so their capability for sexual thoughts is
> diverted to other forums.

I understand the humour you're trying to employ but it doesn't work in
the context of this forum or this thread.

Sexism isn't about the act of sex. It has nothing to do with sexual
thoughts or the act of sex. It's about respect, power, insecurity,
ignorance, stereotypes, and many other things I'm sure.